he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
