there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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