Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize