Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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