she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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