i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize