I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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