So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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