i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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