So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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