I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
