I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
