That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
