He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
