She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Acid is not a monday night drug
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Mom said you looked used
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
