You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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