Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
