Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
