I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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