I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize