it wasn't lemon gatorade
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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