Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
