he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
