I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
