I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
