All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
