we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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