I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
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Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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