That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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