I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize