I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
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I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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