she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
