I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
