Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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