sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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