everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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