I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
