I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My balls are so social today.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How does it feel to date your dad?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
