The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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