Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If its not for food we ain't going out.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize