you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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