You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
