I showed him my bush... on skype.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
