my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
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He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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