I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
