He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
