You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
