i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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