No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she told me i tasted like america
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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