you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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