You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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