I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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