if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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