he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize