When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Barsexuality is the new black.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
did i just pee glitter
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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