If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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