So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
