Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.