Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon