I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.