I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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