break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.