Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Getting food. Want anything?

  (1-949): View more from California

  Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce

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  (949): Getting food. Want anything? (1-949): Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce http://tfl.nu/xicu
  Replies (7) Good night (2177) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

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  (303): Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom. http://tfl.nu/w3y3
  Replies (2) Good night (1375) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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  (325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5
  Replies (100) Good night (7790) Bad night (61191)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  You mean inside out.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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  (302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3
  Replies (20) Good night (7738) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Finally jerked of with a banana peel.

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  (818): Finally jerked of with a banana peel. http://tfl.nu/gj9m
  Replies (27) Good night (1552) Bad night (4637)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
  Replies (98) Good night (28168) Bad night (2147)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them

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  (336): you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them http://tfl.nu/fxdr
  Replies (33) Good night (11947) Bad night (2434)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

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  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
  Replies (12) Good night (1221) Bad night (7133)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress

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  (302): I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress http://tfl.nu/yb5l
  Replies (16) Good night (5730) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.

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  (217): Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you. http://tfl.nu/3vuw
  Replies (6) Good night (2180) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.

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  (972): Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate. http://tfl.nu/fawd
  Replies (6) Good night (1667) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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  (774): omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore.... (774): HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/0qjd
  Replies (4) Good night (1972) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible

  (310): View more from California

  well did you say yes?

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  (323): He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible (310): well did you say yes? http://tfl.nu/94vg
  Replies (9) Good night (2428) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.

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  (480): library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch. http://tfl.nu/phk6
  Replies (6) Good night (1120) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.

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  (641): If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics. http://tfl.nu/etl3
  Replies (8) Good night (1715) Bad night (712)

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